Christmas Rant, It Wouldn't be Christmas Without One

After being skewered last year for my Christmas rant…. Would I dare be so stupid as to do it again? But, of course…. 10 things I hate about Christmas….

10- Red Santa Hats. Did somewhere along the way Santa give his permission to rip off his fashion style….? Adults, kids, even dogs wearing Santa hats… do they think it’s cute? And don’t get me going on the reindeer antler thing.

9- Shopping. Mall kiosks selling all that useless crap that no one will use, packed parking lots and short-tempered shoppers. Give me the Al Qaeda Torture camp instead please.

8- Being a poser… Quit dragging religion into the holidays. I’m not religious, never mind Christian… Even spiritual is a stretch at times. I say, take Christmas back from the Mall and give it to the Christians. It’s theirs anyway. Just change the name to “Winter Solstice Credit Card Debt Days” and we’ll all be happy.

7- The Timing. If one is inclined to buy a gift at the mall… shouldn't Christmas be mid-January, just after all those huge year-end sales? There’s some huge savings to be had.

6- Cranberry sauce. Why doesn’t anybody realize this stuff tastes awful? Add to the list mincemeat, Christmas cake, Christmas pudding and brussel spouts.

5- Decorating. Putting up lights and gaudy decorations like plastic reindeer and inflatable snowmen for two weeks, then taking them all down again.

4- People that don’t take down their lights and gaudy decorations after Christmas. Buddy, It’s June, and 20 degrees, take down yer frikk’n lights.

3- Christmas Television Specials. No explanation required… if it’s not National Lampoon’s Christmas, It’s crap.

2- TV Commercials where loving husbands buy their wives red sports cars with big bows on them (or big diamond rings) for Christmas.

1- Cheap bastards that have no Christmas spirit and constantly complain about Christmas being consumer driven.